failure

and so on the day I decide to cut out the drama...I find myself in a haze of it.

one of which i could have stopped...the other I'm not sure, but on the up note, I have been trying to handle them with less drama and I'm mostly succeeding.

I've also realized that today if the first day of lent...

although i'm not religous at all, I've decided to give up my neurotic tendencies. This could be a challenge...but will benefit many i feel ;)

compilation of unanswered questions

I wonder why...
- I'm such a freak? I didn't used to be?
- my closest friends always know what I'm thinking? It's a bit unnerving.
- I can't throw away that stupid shipping schedule, the one where your cup left a ring on the front page (neither of us even looked at it)?
- I can never finish a "to do" list before I need to make a fresh one?
- I'm so afraid to admit my true thoughts, even when I know you won't judge me?
- I still can't forget every single details of the day I was fired, even though it was the worst job I ever had?
- during a perfect moment, I always fuck it up by dreading the time when it will end?
- people I never talk to are so interested in anything abnormal in my life?
- dancing, sober, is so hard for me to do?
- my eyes always betray me?
- I feel the need to write these things down and post them online?