Must not give up....

I'm nearly there....just two more paragraphs to go until I've got all my grad apps done!

however, can't keep my eyes open any longer. sleep it is.

Saturday: snowboarding...

(what is wrong with me??)

Mental Note:

Drunk fifty year olds tend to tell drunk stories of their youth...when its your parents this makes for many awkward moments.

coffee and breakfast burritos

Did you know that you can get caribou coffee in bulk form? They put it in a box (sorta like boxed wine) and sell it fresh. This discovery may pose a problem for me and my fellow teachers. It was delicious and will be purchase much more often. On the same note as coffee, for national para week the SPED staff made breakfast for the paras. We made breakfast burritos. This has made me realize how great of a food burritos are. You can make them with eggs, meat, beans, cheese, rice...the list goes on. Its like a miracle food for the lazy!!

The best part of my week is the fact that I don't work this weekend, however, I'm heading to the rents house for my Dad's 50th birthday. I guess mom is preparing a big party, sounds like the whole town is coming. Should be an interesting time....at least there will be beer!

and so the two-toed tree toad is alone again

A tree toad loved a she-toad
Who lived up in a tree.
He was a two-toed tree toad
But a three-toed toad was she.
The two-toed tree toad tried to win
The three-toed she-toad's heart,
For the two-toed tree toad loved the ground
That the three-toed tree toad trod.
But the two-toed tree toad tried in vain.
He couldn't please her whim.
From her tree toad bower
With her three-toed power
The she-toad vetoed him.

(yeah the kids are doing tongue twisters at school)

why are we always only passing through

So I am sitting in front of my personal statement. I have been doing so for about three weeks now. It stares at me, my possible future. The future that I want, but the future that I'm not sure I have the power to grasp. I look back with glossy eyes, thinking of the past few months. Oh, how has my life changed, and yet not many would see it. I see it, but I don't talk about it. I can't talk about it. Who would believe it really?

The personal statement, a group of choppy yet articulate sentences, bunched together into what makes up the pathetic half twisted ideas I have for myself. And my "editors" tell me that my plan is so perfect. My future is so bright. All I have to do is walk the path, keep to that plan. But then, there is the other parts of my life...my dangerous desires. The people/things that shouldn't be held above my future, above reaching these goals. Am I so devoted that I can not move on with my life? Do I really want to move on with my life? They make me happy, if even for a few moments. And happiness seems so much harder to come by these days. Wine helps, the Beatles, working, Mamma Mia!, the moments....

We were leaving the bar. My arm was slung loosely over your shoulder. I rolled onto my tiptoes, tugged you closer, pressed my cheek against yours and closed my eyes. Breathed you in. It was a millisecond of perfection. A minute snippet of the everyday that I don't want to forget. Mostly I can't forget.

the wood is dead

I've nearly come to the conclusion that having a relationship is going to be forever out of reach. I hope I'm right and wrong at the same time. Whats the point anymore....

I've been watching Deadwood lately. Its completely addicting and I really wish it wasn't. The fact that I never get tired of hearing cocksucker sorta freaks me out and I increasing wish Calamity Jane could become my drinking buddy.

On a work note:

Can you plagiarize IEP Goals? Since I am so new at writing them, I've been "borrowing" ideas for goals and objectives from other SLPs. My boss seems to think my objectives are pretty good. I just want to make sure this isn't illegal or something. I'll have to get on that.

Also, grief management meeting for the other work tonight. That was a major bummer. I can only speak of death and dying for so long before my reaction becomes somewhat forced or woren out. Not sure why or if i should be admitting this. I still have not fully recovered.

BLACK CAB SESSIONS

Check it out

http://www.blackcabsessions.com/


I can't stop watching/listening.

A New Year...Not a New Me

So its another new year and our society is asking me to make some resolutions.

There are things the I'm sure I could improve upon.

I could make the usual popular resolutions: Eat better, exercise more. lose weight, give up smoking (if i smoked), drink less, start a new hobby...the list goes on...

but really, what should I change, it should be something important, something that will actually make me happier, more comfortable with myself.